Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
