We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize