the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I wear drunk well.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
