you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
