The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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