covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
