Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
