I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
