Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You can't special order awesome
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
