So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
