I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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