How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
