Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize