Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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