you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
