How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
