Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
