I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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