Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
