Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
