I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
