i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
