...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
