I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Found your dick twin last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
