i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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