I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
