This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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