apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
