So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
