check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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