I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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