Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My liver just broke up with me...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
