So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
