I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
