I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just want to make out with him forever
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
