Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
