How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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