He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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