Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize