You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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