so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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