I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
