i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
