Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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