I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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