You really coming over, don't trick.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
