We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
