I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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