i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
it's like iHOP with fire
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
