I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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