if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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