Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
and you fell through a lawn chair
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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