Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
