Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Can you bring me the toilet please
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
