I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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