yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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