Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
