its not stalking. its research.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
