Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
