I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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