he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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