If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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