I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize