How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So many bounce houses so little time
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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