Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
