So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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