You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
